Green Ninja is Green
by Fluff X
Summary: A weird boy has joined the ninja leaving the academy, just how weird will be for his new teammates to find out. A mostly OC cast with some interaction with main characters, follows the same overall plot as Naruto. T for violence with minor gore later on.
1. In which things happen

Ok, here we go… This is my first FanFiction, let's see how long it takes for me to screw it up.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto Characters (There'd be more NaruHina-eeness), but I do own my OCs.

* * *

It was a strange sight for the two Ninjas guarding the Main Gate to Konoha: An abnormally tall person, wearing a long hooded grey cloak that covered their entire body. They looked about 8-feet. Walking along next to them was a young boy who looked to be around 3 or 4. The oddest thing was that the young one was completely green. Not just their clothes, but their hair and skin as well. As they approached, one of the guards called out. "Who are you and what is your business here?"

The hooded one replied, "My name is Grey, and my business here is just that. Mine."

"Who gave you permission to enter?"

Grey reached into a fold in his cloak, the guards tensed; it might be a kunai, or an explosive tag. He pulled out… A piece of paper. "Signed by the Fourth Hokage himself." The guard read it over, it seemed legitimate.

"How did you get his signature?"

"I gave him the paper, and he wrote it down, why?"

"Don't you know? He's been dead for 3 years"

"…That's a shame, he was nice. Anyway, are you going to let us in or what?"

"The paper checks out, welcome to Konoha."

Grey took the paper back, and led the green child into village.

As they left, the first guard looked at his companion. "Was it just me, or was the small one…?"

"Best not to think about it." Was the reply. "Although I might start doing less night shifts..."

* * *

As Grey and the green child walked further, Grey looked at his companion. "Well younger brother, what do you think of Konoha?"

"It seems to be a bit… Broken" Replied the child, waving his hand towards destroyed buildings and wooden patches.

"I heard they had some trouble with 9 foxes or something 3 years ago. They must have been quite large to-, ah, here we are." Grey stopped, and looked at a large group of buildings in front of him. _I wonder if anyone else I knew has died…_

"Brother, what is a Hyuga?" said the small one, pointing a nearby sign.

"A name." Said Grey, as he pulled his brother inside.

* * *

As the Hyuga clan debated on some matter the small one wasn't very interested in, Grey left him to stand by a tall potted plant, and knocked on a folded screen. Most of them looked at him with blank faces, but one, a very old man leapt up "You! What are-" but Grey raised his hand, and handed him a small scroll. He opened and read it. "Fine."

Grey walked over to the child. "It's working, you know where I'll be if it happens. Stay safe" and vanished.

* * *

10 Years Later

* * *

As Naruto lay bleeding after being beaten up by almost every girl in the class for stealing Sasuke's first kiss, Iruka walked in. "Class, I have a special announcement. I want you all to welcome a new student. He's been living in Konoha for a while now, but we've decided to wait until you were mature enough before we introduced you. His name is Green, come in now Green." The door opened, and a thin 13 year old boy walked in. He was wearing a green t-shirt, which was virtually hanging off him. There was a plain green scarf round the lower part of his head, even though it was a hot summer day, although he was wearing a pair of shorts that reached his knees, instead of the traditional sandals or trainers, he was wearing boots that reached halfway up his shin, as if he had been expecting snow. His hands were covered by ski-gloves, and considering the nearest snow-covered mountain was in a different country, this weirded out the people that noticed. Few did however, because most were having trouble getting over the face that his skin, eyes and hair were forest-green. After a period of stunned silence (outwardly and mentally) different thoughts popped up.

There's a _boy_ that's _thinner than me!_

I wonder how much worse he'll be than Sasuke's

He's _green…_

Why is he GREEN?!

Are those ... ski gloves?

And out loud, from Iruka, "Green, why don't you tell the class a bit about yourself"

He seemed to take a second to digest what Iruka has said, and another to consider what he himself was going to say. When he did speak, he seemed almost asleep, speaking very plainly, with a look that suggested he was thinking about something very far away. Oddly, his voice didn't seem to be muffled by the scarf.

"Well… There isn't much to say about me. I like gardening and reading, and that's about it. I don't eat, so I don't have a favourite food, and I have a medical condition, so I can only drink water. I've never spent much time outside my home, so I don't really know anything about the village."

"I'm sure you'll get used to life here soon. Anyway, you're just in time to the announcements of the teams." As the man listed of names that Green had neither heard of nor cared about, he reached the bottom of his clipboard "Team 15, Green, Himo Iken and Gudah Izunaka." Green noticed 2 people stiffen as the names were called, the first, Himo apparently, wore a yellow shirt with a black flower on the back, and a short yellow mini skirt. Her hair was red, tied in a ponytail, and she didn't seem too pleased about being teamed up with Green. Gudah was a brown haired boy wearing a grey jacket and blue jeans. Like Himo, he too didn't seem thrilled by the prospect of being associated with the uniquely toned ninja.

"_Well…" _Thought Green _"This is going to be… Something…"_ And let his mind wander away from reality for a bit.

* * *

The newly formed Team-15 assembled on a disused concrete training ground where the notes they had received had told them to meet. Suddenly blinding amounts of light burst from nowhere, and they were assailed with a man's voice booming into their ears. "Presenting the one, the only, the grand magnificent perfect shining example of all things wonderful, your new sensei, role model, idol of worship and more! Jinduh Ginfray!" A burst of multicolour smoke appeared, and faded away to reveal an average looking Jonin wearing a combat best, blue trousers and ridiculous smile, and striking an absolutely brainless pose.

Green clapped slowly. The other two wondered if a kunai to the throat would really be _that _painful. "Well at least one of you has some appreciation of genius." Jinduh sighed. "Might as well get this over with. Say some stuff about yourself while I think about interesting stuff… You first Himo."

Himo gave him a look that said something along the lines of "I will feed you to a bear".

"Well, I like shopping, shoes, flowers, I don't like mud, taijutsu or you guys. I want to be a great ninja so that everyone knows women can be powerful too."

Jinduh didn't seem to care that Himo had finished, the suddenly snapped back from whatever "interesting stuff" he'd been thinking about. "Oh, you're done... You next Gundam."

The brown haired boy looked annoyed, "It's Gudah!"

"I don't care."

Gudah replicate Himo's "Feed you to a bear" look, but seemed to mix in a bit of "And there will be fire" as well. "Ug... Why did I get teams with a pair of freaks...? Well, I want to be a ninja because all my friends do, and if they're ninjas and I'm some chef or something then I'll probably never see them again... I like football and meat, and I don't like cucumber or you two." At that last point, he pointed a finger at Green and Jinduh.

"What a nice little guy you are..." Jinduh said in response to the "You two" comment. Green didn't seem to be listening."You're next broccoli boy." Green didn't respond in anyway. "Hello...? Cucumber kid? Grass guy? He whos skin be that which is not not green?"

Himo punched him in the face "WAKE UP!" The punch seemed to be quite strong, as it left Himo unbalanced, but Green just blinked.

"Oh right... I don't re-"

"What is this stuff?" Himo interupted, holding up her hand, which had small amount a green liquid on its knuckles.

"That's my blood. It comes out when you break my skin." Green replied, pointing to a very slightly lighter patch on his face, which did seem to be dripping.

"I know what happens when you break-!" Himo yelled, the stopped, as a sudden thought burst into her mind. "Your blood... Is... on... my... hand... EEEEEEEW!" Then she started frantically wiping her fingers on the grass.

Gudah thought to himself, _Why am I not surprised that his blood is green too...?_

After Himo had calmed down, Green started his introduction again.

"I don't really have anything to say about myself... I garden and I sleep, and that's about it."

"Well at least that one was polite." Was Jinduh's comment. "Now get to know each other while I lie down with my eyes closed." He then closed his eyes and lay down.

"Green."

"Yes Himo?"

"Why are you wearing ski-gloves?"

Green looked bewildered. Or at least as bewildered as you could while wearing a scarf. He replied slowly. "To keep my hands warm..."

"But... you're wearing a t-shirt..."

"Well I'm not going to wear a jumper on a hot summer day am I?"

"But... You... Gloves..." Himo's brain didn't seem to want to risk sanity just to try and understand Green's not-logic. So she curled up and started thinking happy-thoughts. Gudah went to sleep without any declaration of his intent to do so. Green looked at the two sleeping teammates, and the curled up one mumbling about kittens, and could only think of a single comment.

_Why did I get put on the **weird** team?_

_

* * *

_And that's chapter one. I'll start writing chapter two when someone reviews, so I know someone has read this.

Green pops out from nowhere. "Fluff, we did the chapter... Can we eat now?"

"No. Get back in your hole."

"... Kay"


	2. Post time with Green

And this is Chapter two

And this is Chapter two.

Sorry about the lateness, I was in Greece for two weeks. Some may point out that it's been a lot longer

Don't own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke would have a chicken for a head.

* * *

As Green was walking home from his team's first meeting, he felt something, and then noticed that his back was touching more of the ground that was normal for a walk. He looked around, and saw a spiky blonde haired boy with strange whisker shaped marks on his cheeks, who was giving him a rather angry looked.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?!" Yelled the blonde. Apparently Green had walked into him.

"Sorry, I was a bit di-" Was all Green could get in, before the blonde apparently stopped caring.

"Hey, you're that guy Iruka introduced to us earlier… Why are you green?"

"That's what my parents called me… Why are you wearing an _orange_ jumpsuit?"

"Are you making fun of me?! I oughta-"

"Naruto…" Green looked around, and saw a silver haired man with his headband over one eye, a _pink_ haired girl, and a boy who seemed to have styled his hair while thinking about a chicken's butt.

"But, Kakashi sensei!"

"No buts, stop picking a fight with the new person and come with us."

"Yes Kakashi sensei…"

With that, green could only ponder the pink haired girl, the chicken but boy, and the whisker face, and could only think of a single comment.

_Why did I get put in the __**weird**__ village?_

_--_

When Green arrived home, he noticed that the post had arrived, which was unusual in itself, because few people knew where he lived. There were 4 letters, a blue one, a yellow one, a grey one, and a pink one, and a large white parcel. "Gee… I _wonder_ who these are from." With that, Green picked up the blue one. "Might as well get this over with… Let me guess… Death threat death threat death threat drawing." And with that, he opened it.

Green:  
I no were u liv know, and wen i gt their u r ded! im guna rip aut ur lngs and tere ur kidneez in harf!

-- Blu

After that, there was a crude drawing of a girl stabbing Green in the eyes.

"Well her drawing is better than last time. Let's see… What does Yellow want?" And started to read the yellow letter.

Hey Green, it's me. I may, or may not, have blown up my entire village… So I may, or may not, have to stay with you for a while. Just so you know.

--Yellow.

"How many villages has that guy blown up now? Grey next I suppose."

Green, I might have to leave for a couple of days, just so you know, you were little bit bland today… Try emotion. It usually helps. -- Grey

"_You were the reason I couldn't do emotion you prat... _And where are you gonna go anyway? Wait… Pink wouldn't of…"

Hey Green, I'm borrowing Grey for a romantic dinner, I'll bring him back later.-- Pink.

"Why does she _never_ ask? It's really annoying… Whatever, lets see what White sent me… Or how." Opening the package, a pile of rice paper fell out, Green picked a sheet up and tried to read it, the writing was ridiculously small.

Flap flap flap flap flap flap fla-

Green stopped there. "I'm not sure whether to be impressed that someone had the patience to write all this for her, or depressed that someone had the _time_ to write all this for her…" He then noticed that there was a note saying:

--Ran out of paper, more to come.

"Depression it is then. At least now I can-"

"Green, can we speak to you for a moment?"

"ACK!" Green simultaneously screamed, spun round, dropped the paper and reached for a kunai. All he managed to find was a pencil. He tried to make it look threatening. In front of him were 3 ANBU members. "Howdidyougetinhere?!" Green squeaked.

"We let ourselves in. We're here because there have been sightings of an intruder in the village. We were wondering if you knew anything about it."

"Why would know anything about it?"

"The person was yellow."

"So just because they were named after a colour means I'll automatically know them? I'll have some special network to talk to anyone with a colour name? Well as a matter of fact I don't."

"We find that hard to believe."

"I find platypuses hard to believe."

Whichever member of the ANBU that had been talking (Green couldn't tell because of the mask) sighed, and said to their team-mates "I don't think he's going to tell us anything."

"Why don't we interrogate him?" One of the other two asked.

"You know what the Hokage said about that." He turned back to Green. "We're going to leave now, but we'll be keeping an eye on you. Any last things you'd like to add?".

"Yes. Do you people _ever_ knock?"

At this, the ANBU left in a puff of smoke. Green said nothing, he just walked around the house, destroying the bugs they'd left behind. After finding the last one he started talking. "Why _didn't_ you use the special network anyway?"

"Because _they_ can hear everything you say!" Came a voice.

Green sighed. "Did you talk to that doctor I told you about?"

"He was a conspiracy."

"Uh-huh… Are you going to let me see you any time soon?"

Flakes of paint started falling from the ceiling, and then a person followed them. He was wearing a yellow long overcoat, with yellow rubber gloves and shoes. Their skin and hair was also yellow. Said hair seemed to be sticking out in every direction.

"Yellow… Right?"

"Isn't it ob-… Oh wait, are you the colour-blind one?"

"Selectively."

"Huh?"

Green pointed to his left eye. "It shows colour when it wants to. Like that weird kid wearing orange. Otherwise I just see everything in green."

"Can I dissect it when you die?"

"Considering that that would require me to have not killed you by then… No."

"Thanks. Also, do you mind if I stay here for a while."

"Yes."

"Thanks, I'll be up here if you need me." Yellow walked up the wall and through the hole in the ceiling. This puzzled Green, as his house only had one floor. He decided to ask in the morning. Yellow would probably have started working on something by now, and wouldn't answer a thing Green said. Periods of noise coupled with flashes of light from the hole confirmed this theory.

Resigning himself to the long wait untill something interesting happened, Green ceased to pay attention with one sentence floating around his mind.

_Why did I get the **weird**_ _family?_

* * *

And that's chapter 2. Yay. Fun fact: When I first typed "Sasuke" into Microsoft word, the computer asked me if I meant to spell "sauce". Fun times.


	3. The one where they go places

And this is chapter three

And this is chapter three.

And this is chapter three.

And this is chap-… I'm gonna stop bothering with that now.

Sorry about the lateness. I was gonna start writing it, but the Spore happened. Then it was a lot later suddenly. Oh, and apparently this has a monthly update schedule. Works fine for me, and considering you, the reader, don't seem to exist much, I'm going to assume it's fine for you as well.

Don't own Naruto. If I did, Tonton would poop napalm.

* * *

"Hey Yellow, how long have I been standing here now?" Green beginning to worry that he'd lost track of the time.

"Forty days and fifty nights. And one regular knight. His name was Joe." Of course Yellow wasn't the _best_ person to ask about these things.

"I'm gonna leave now… If my house isn't here when I get back, I'll feed you to badgers."

"Whatever you say Ma'am." Green shuffled away as fast as he could without looking ridiculous. He then realized that he'd effectively been driven out of his own home. This would definitely require badgering at a later point.

Before he could finish planning where to find the highest number of the furry little things, he was interrupted by a voice he'd been hoping not to have to hear for at least another 3 hours. "Green, we've been looking everywhere for you!" Himo seemed to have gotten more piercing overnight.

"Why?"

"They want to assign us our first mission!"

"Oh goodie… Um… For completely normal reasons, what time is it?"

"It's quarter past twelve…"

"Right… And when did you punch me in the face?"

"Yesterday."

"Oh, good."

"Weirdo…"

---

As Green stood in with the others listening to one of the mission-people, (Green made a mental note to work out whose they actually were) he wondered what the inside of his tongue tasted like.

* * *

Later as they walked down the road out of the village, Green realised he had no idea where they were going. "So guys… We're doing what now?"

"Do you ever pay attention to anything?" Himo snapped. "We have to go kill some wild boars that are messing up crops near one of the smaller villages."

"That's ninja work?"

Gudah was apparently as sick of Himo's voice as Green was, and chose this as a good moment to interrupt. "We're trainees dumb-ass, you're lucky we aren't gardening or walking dogs or some shit."

Jinduh took a break from whatever it was Jonins do when they walk to reprimand Gudah on his language.

The walk carried on uneventfully until Green started going through what had happened today.

_This is taking a while… Probably an excuse to get me out of the village while those ANBU guys search my house… Heh… Good luck, Yellow has probably filled it with death traps by now._

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"Say _what_ out loud?"

"Oh good… Wait…" Green began to mumble. "Yellow… My house… OH SHIT!"

"What is it?"

"Wait, did I say _that_ out loud?"

Gudah was rubbing his ear, scowling. "Yes…"

"Well it's just that I have a bad feeling that someone I know is going to do something moronic while I'm gone…

* * *

_Meanwhile, at Green's house._

Yellow stopped drilling spike-holes into the floor underneath Green's doormat, and looked up. "That's odd… I have the strangest urge to break the fourth wall…"

* * *

Green stopped walking and put his hand to his head. "I sense a disturbance… As if a thousand people that like to read cried out in mild annoyance, but suddenly stopped caring… Oh well, probably not important…"

"Weirdo…"

* * *

Nothing seemed to happen for the duration of the journey. They talked a bit, usually as little as possible, and Green found out from a travelling merchant that there was a river running backwards nearby. And that melons were the entire in thing in today's time you little youngling. Whatever that meant. After about three days of travelling, they finally reached the village.

"GREEN!" The force from Himo's banshee-like scream was enough to knock Green over.

"What?" He groaned, brushing dirt out of his hair.

"Finally! I've been calling you for 2 minutes! You were all spaced out… Weirdo… Anyway, we're here, this-" She swept her arm across the horizon "-is Rice-Town."

Green glanced at the large fields of rice. "Aptly named, but it seems to be a bit… Broken" he replied waving his hand towards large patches of churned up earth, and collapsed buildings. "Huh… Déjà vu…"

"Well that would be because of the boars we're here to kill dumbass."

"Gundam…" Jinduh glanced at him.

"Sorry… And it's Gudah!"

"Sorry what?"

"Sorry sir…" Gudah mumbled something after that, and Green couldn't quite work out what he said. It sounded a bit like "Cheese of another ducking hit."

"Hey… I just noticed" Green butted in to make sure that Jinduh didn't have chance to work out anything that rhymes with ducking. "How come your names are so similar?"

Jinduh smiled, and adopted one of his patently ridiculous poses. "Glad you asked, y' see, I saved Ghandi's father's life, so he named his son after me… But he's a bit deaf, and no-one has the heart to tell him about the mistake."

"Right…" Said Green.

At the same time, Gudah's face turned red. "IT'S GUDAH!"

"Whatever."

"WHEN THEY FIND YOUR CORPSE, THERE WILL BE SPADES SHOVED SO FAR UP YOUR AR-"

Green turned to see why Gudah had stopped. There was a boar standing above him. Some would say in front, but considering that his head was level with the boars stomach, and that it was looking down on him, its face at least two meters in the air, Green decided that "above" was the right word.

Everyone stared at the beast. Himo was concentrating on the mud dried into its fur, Jinduh seemed to be focused entirely on its tail and hooves, and Gudah was eyeing the uncomfortably close tusks nervously. Finally, Jinduh broke the silence.

"At least this mission won't be… _Boaring_."

Green struggled to work out who he wanted to win this.

* * *

Happy Halloween everybody, see you all next month.

"And a big thanks to Tentenperson-Kshikamarugal, who, apart from having a hilariously difficult name to pronouce, gave Fluff the motivation-"

AH! Get out of here! The mysterious figure is pushed away! It leaves!

"But I wanna be famous..."

Later! The audience hasn't seen you yet! Out!

"Fine..."


	4. The Good, The Bad, and The Badgers

Happy November 33rd!

"_No-one is going to fall for that!_"

Shut up Green… *Sigh*… I _still_ don't own Naruto. Thanks for reminding me.

* * *

The group stared at the boar.

The boar stared at the group.

This continued for a short while, until Green remembered that staring is not usually a viable form of fighting.

"Um… Guys? Aren't we supposed to be killing this thing?"

Gudah had turned pale. "Claws… The size of swords… Tusks… Sharp as knives… Pants… Becoming so much wetter"

Jinduh was backing away nervously, his eyes fixed on the now visible teeth. "D-did… Did I… Uh… Mention my allergies? Yeah, my allergies… Sh-sharp things m-make me bleed… A-a-and st-stutter…"

Himo fainted.

"What's up with her?" Green had assumed that the red-head was made of stronger stuff than that. Strong enough to cause large bruises at least.

"She _really_ doesn't like mud. There was this thing on here sixth birthday… You really don't want to know."

There was a loud grunting noise. Green could've sworn the boar had an impatient look on its face.

"Oh, right… Well guys, we should probably devise some sort of pla-" Green noticed that he was talking to two gaps in the air and someone mumbling about kittens. "You guys suck." Before he could complain further, a rather large snout sent him tumbling through the air. By some twist of fate, he landed right in front of Gudah (who seemed to be running awkwardly) and Jinduh, who stopped running, slightly startled. "Guys… Shouldn't you at least have picked up Himo?"

The pair looked at each other, suddenly notice their lack of a female.

"Uh- I… YEAH!" Jinduh was suddenly smiling. "Nice diversion Green!" With that, he swung round and threw six kunai at the boar, which had just started to examine the sleeping mudaphobe. Noticing the pointy instruments of death, it rolled out of the way, with much more agility than its bulk would suggest.

Gudah was not amused. "What the hell kind of damn boar dodges?!"

Jinduh suddenly twitched… "Wait a minute… What the hell kind of damn boar has so many huge razor sharp teeth?"

They turned to each other, and said the same thing simultaneously. "You know… I don't think that's a real boar…"

Jinduh looked at it again. "Maybe we should tell Green that", watching the peculiarly palated ninja charging at the animal.

They looked at each other again, and shared words once more. "Naaah."

Back on Green's end of the road, a number of thoughts were jostling for frontal position in his mind. The eventual winner was _"I think badgers live in holes in the ground"_, although it faced fierce competition from such fighters as _"*Stare blankly into space*" _and _"Did I leave the oven running?"_ Moping around at the back, and trying to think of a decent explanation to give to the part of Green's mind that dealt with common sense as to why it had failed so badly, was _"I'm charging straight towards a giant boar." _With no useful information coming from his brain, Green decided to do the first thing that looked possible.

He jumped up above the boar, and rammed his foot into its back.

Or at least he would have, if it hadn't moved. Quite quickly. He landed awkwardly, and his foot jammed into the ground.

"What kind of boar dodges?"

It roared at him and bit down on his non-grounded leg.

"And what kind of boar has so many huge razor sharp teeth… You know" he turned to the boar, which seemed to be trying to pull his leg apart. "I don't think you're a real boar." Saying that, he twisted round and a jammed a kunai into the boar's eye. Instead of screeching in pain, it exploded into smoke. "Hey… What kind of boar explo- Oh right."

The smoke cleared, and all that remained was a group of men, none of whom looked very happy. One of them, a large man wearing fur hides started yelling at another, a runt in a tattered cloth shirt and torn trousers, held up with a piece of rope. ""We'll pretend to be a boar" you said! "We'll kidnap a bunch of genin" you said! Well look what you did Yaruku!" Saying that, he pointed to a bloody hole in his left arm.

The small one's eyes widened "W-I-we-it's-we-" The larger one punched Yaruku in the face. He fell down, and didn't move. Blood began to seep into the ground.

The large one turned to Green. "Whatever you are, you just stabbed me, and The King of Bandits does _not_ take kindly to being stabbed, you little freak!" Green could tell that he wanted to appear frightening. He looked constipated.

"You look consti-" Before Green could finish his observation, a shuriken whizzed past his face, straight towards "The King of Bandit's" face. Screeching in a ridiculously high pitch, he bend over backwards and allowed it to fly straight into the throat of a thin bald man standing next to him. Mr Tin-Boldmun (Green thought it had a nice ring to it) started choking, while his companions stared with tinly vailed amusment.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Green's house, Yellow looked stopped designing a super-powered Badger-repellent, and looked up. "That was _not_ a typo folks… Crap, this is going to get really old really fast isn't it? I need to think of something original."

* * *

Green had a bad feeling that someone, somewhere, had just closed a bowser. Why they were closing a spiky turtle was beyond him. Heh… Turtles. And spikes. Breathing fire…

…

…

…

_Een._

Een? What's an een?

_REEN…_

Is it raining?

_GREEN!_

Hey… That's me isn't it? What's the problem voice? Is the barn on fire…? Did Yellow _finally_ fall down a well…?

_**GREEN?**_

Green fell back down into reality. He'd never really noticed how the sky was so… In front of him. Then something in his pancreas held up a small sign saying "You're lying on the ground Green. Also, we're out of hot chocolate."

"Damn it… No hot chocolate? I mean… Getting off the floor." Green got off the floor. He was interested by the fact that there had been a very peculiar increase in the number of dead bodies. Where once there had been around none, there were three. Although there was a conspicuous lack of sleepy red-heads. Instead, there was an earache. Where had that come from?

_**GUH-REEN **_

Yeah. That would make sense. Green turned, and saw a Himo. Its face was quite a similar colour to its hair. "FINALY! I'VE BEEN YELLING AT YOU FOR AGES! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE'VE HAD TO DO?!"

"No."

Green's passive voice seems to enrage the wild Himo. Green wants to throw a pokéblock at it, but remembers that you don't get the case 'till like, six more towns. Man that sucks. "GRAHG-FLU-DI-" She was beggining to foam at the mouth.

Before Himo could reassert her ability to speak English, Gudah interrupted her with a loud shout. "DUCK!" Himo hit the ground. Green started scanning the skies. "Actually, I think that's a-" Once again, another interruption asserted itself. Green was beginning to get annoyed by those. There was once good thing about it though; Instead of a very screechy voice, it was a small boulder. Nice to have some variation in life. Green watched the world spin around, until it came to rest with the earth on the right, the sky on the left, and a guy throwing rocks at Jinduh straight ahead. Green would have never expected the Jonin to move so fast, but each time the guy threw a rock, Jinduh would leap out of the way, and throw a number of kunai at him, in increasingly bizarre ways. Green watched as he cart wheeled away, then launched three knives out of his left shoe. One of them hit the man in the left arm, and he cried out in pain. Jinduh followed up with more throws, until his target was reduced to a porcupine look alike. As they regrouped, Green saw a number of bruises and open-wounds along Jinduh's arms and body, and he had a black eye. Himo was breathing slowly, and still red-faced, and Gudah was limping.

Jinduh looked up at Green. "How many kinds of vegetable are you?"

Green looked puzzled "Why? What happened?"

"We had to fight these bandits ourselves, and you just stood there. Seriously Pickle, I figured you were a bit of a plant, but I didn't think you were gonna be that bad. What's wrong with you?"

**Problem:**

**Abnormal behaviour detected.**

**Identity suspect. **

**Solution: **

**Run string sequence 0593.**

Before anything could be said, the fur-wearing man burst out from the ground behind Jinduh with a large hammer in each hand, poised to crush the skull of the Jonin, who was too startled to react. Himo and Gudah froze, clueless as to how to help. Green was less so. He leapt forward, and with one hand he shoved Jinduh out of the way, and with the other he made a seal. "Shadow Arm Jutsu!" A strange transparent blackness cloaked his arm, and he smashed a fist into "The king of bandit's" stomach. As his strike connected, the black substance rippled, and transformed into a number of hands, which each lashed out at the unfortunate man, who coughed up an alarming amount of blood. Green used his non-shadow hand to grab him by the shoulder, and started flicking his shadowed appendage around, not trying to do any damage with it, but instead causing the shadow-hands to tear off parts off the man's skin. Within a couple of seconds, the would-be-king resembled a piece of raw meat.

Green's arm returned to normal, and he looked at his shirt, which was now quite red, then at his team-mates, who were looking at him, mouths agape.

"Ew. I think I got bandit in my hair."

* * *

Couple a' things I need to say here folks.

First off, sorry for the lateness. We've started doing GCSEs at school, and I've been frantically trying to finish a history one. That and the Science Revision. Oh the Science Revision. Yes. It gets capitals.

Second off, thank you to Night Time Ramen for the review. This one review per chapter thing is pretty cool. I wonder how long we can keep that going.

And third off… I dunno. Either I forgot, or I just want this to be a list of three. You decide.

If Fluff forgot, go to page 46.

If Fluff wanted a list of three, go to page G.


End file.
